You’ll often hear that you shouldn’t say anything negative about your ex-partner. No one tells you how difficult that can be at times, especially when your ex-partner says and does some horrendous things or says negative and sometimes untruthful things about you.

Sometimes your child may have some valid negative feelings about their other parent. It's a fine balance to be able to honestly validate your children's feelings and your own without oversharing or criticizing their other parent.

If it’s possible for you to say something positive about your co-parent, do it.

That can be helpful to your children. It gives your children permission to love both parents without fearing that they’re hurting you by loving their other parent.

If your child has positive feelings for that parent, it helps your child to know that you also see some good in someone they love.

If your child has negative feelings about their other parent, (which often happens after divorce) it models for them that even if you’re going through a difficult time with someone, you can still find the good in them. Accepting parents as the imperfect beings we all are is an important developmental milestone for children.

Don’t run the risk of your child overhearing you make negative comments about their other parent, whether it’s on the phone, in private conversation, or out in public. There is no way they can get the whole story and hearing bits and pieces out of context about someone they love can be confusing and hurtful.